“Mom, put down your phone!” Why I’m leaving Instagram for good.

I’ve been on Instagram for the better part of a decade. I signed up with the intention of growing my brand new photography business, and I did. I booked countless clients on this app. I made wonderful connections with other vendors, friends, brands. I’ve kept up with my childhood friends as we moved to different states, got married, and had babies. I love the challenge of marketing on Instagram, and being creative and sharing my work. It’s been an incredible tool for my business. But for me, the pros of Instagram end there. 

I’ve been thinking about leaving Instagram for years. I believe that social media is for the most part, unhealthy. I’ve watched myself develop bad habits over the years. Time wasting. Scrolling when I’m bored. Comparison. Letting others into the sacred spaces of my life and home. Self centeredness. Consumerism. The desire to grow a “following.” The list goes on. I shudder to think of the time that I’ve spent on this app, and of the mind space it has consumed. I justified staying because of my business. 

But my business is not my only responsibility, and it is not my most important one. I have the responsibility of myself, and also, raising my little girl. I’ve already decided that I don’t want my daughter to have social media. We all see the unhealthy habits it creates. We all know the detrimental effects it has on children and teenagers. The negatives are undisputed. (Many people are coming to the same conclusion; just do a quick google search and read the articles!) While we adults may be able to use these apps in a more healthy way, we are not immune to the harmful effects. And as my husband said once, “if we don’t want her to have it, why should we have it?”

So I am asking myself: what example will I set for my daughter? Will I be the mom who is constantly on her phone?

A few weeks ago a friend of mine with a very large following and thriving business announced that she was deleting her account for good. I have so much respect for her. Her reasons were rock solid, the same things that I’ve been pondering for years, and it gave me the push I needed. 

Some of you moms have greater self control and social media boundaries than I do. But me, I find myself reaching for my phone when I’m bored, when I have a minute to myself, when I want to relax. Being a stay at home mom can be isolating some days, and social media gives me an outlet. 

I find myself wasting time. Minutes here and there, that add up to hours. 

I find myself looking at my phone with Evy in my lap. “I just need to check something.” 

I find myself creating content while she naps, filling my mind with ideas on how to grow my business and connect with others in a better way. “Almost at 10k followers. Can I get there?”

 I find myself wondering how those other photographers do it, shooting glamorous weddings with multiple children to care for at home. (How do they DO it? Why can’t I be better?”)

I find myself buying things that I don’t need, things that are trendy and stylish, and what the influencers tell us we just have to have. “I have a code for you guys!

And sometimes, I find myself subconsciously resenting the fact that caring for my daughter is keeping me from pursuing my goals, as I watch others with time I don’t have, pursue theirs.

That final reason is enough to make me delete my account for good. No amount of money or experiences or industry acclaim is greater than my role as her mom. Shut up, social media.

As I step away from social media I feel as though I’m closing the doors of a business that I have spent years growing. It’s scary. Not having a social media presence as a successful wedding photographer is unheard of right now and my pessimistic side foresees my business slowly fading into nothing. That is the most painful and difficult part of this decision. I absolutely love my work. It’s been a wonderful source of income and I have worked so incredibly hard to get my business to where it is today. Instagram was a huge part of that. Can my business survive without a social media presence? I don’t know. Can I trust God who is leading me in this direction, with my business? YES.

One of my greatest goals in life is to not have any major regrets with how I spent my time. Somehow I know if I spend the years I have at home with my daughter in a constant state of distraction and noise from social media and feeling the need to grow my business bigger and better, I will regret that. My family is more important than my photography. So as much as I love what I do, it is not my top priority. If stepping away from social media eventually brings my business to a standstill, so be it. 

So what now?

My business isn’t going anywhere, at present! I will still be active on my blog, sharing all my wedding and portrait work, well as my email newsletter. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have you part of my email community, as it will be the only form of communication I will be using for my business.

Get on the list here!

I genuinely loved the conversations and connections I made on Instagram and I will miss chatting with so many of you on the app. If you’re a past client, a potential client, or a friend, I would love to have you on my email list! I share a variety of personal thoughts and professional work on there..I would love to have you.

One more thing. This is not intended to bash anyone over the head about social media. I understand the pros and why you stay, believe me. I’ve been on the app for long enough. Each of us is only responsible for our own actions, not the actions of others. I promise I have no judgement toward anyone who has social media, so there is no need to tell me your reasons for staying, or if you disagree with my take on it. I simply want to explain to my little community why I am choosing to leave, and how to stay in touch when I do.

To those of you who have supported me and my business in the past, thank you. To my clients and friends, you truly mean the world to me and I am so incredibly grateful for the chance to work with each one of you. I hope to continue to connect via my newsletter, and in other ways. 

Thanks for reading,

Jess

I'm Jess. So glad you're here! 
On my blog you'll find elegant love stories photographed all over Virginia on a blend of film and digital. Grab a cup of tea and stay awhile!

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  1. Rachel Stoltzfus says:

    God bless you abundantly…we do need to stay focused…you made a wise choice…I just came off Facebook…it’s a good thing for me …hope to see you next month at the lapp reunion

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